It’s 10:37am. I’m awake. I hear birds. I grab my phone. I see no messages. I go back to sleep. It’s 11:24am. I hear the same birds. I grab my phone still no message. I get up. I grab a glass of water. I go to the bathroom. I take a shower. It’s now 12:06pm. I get ready for work. I grab some food from Jack-in-the-box on the way. I eat lunch in my car. I arrive at my job. It’s 9:05pm. I go home. I lay in bed and watch Netflix.
This is my life. I have done this for a couple years now. I find no meaning. I find no purpose. I begin to realize I am going nowhere. So I read self-help books. I enter into relationships. I quit my job. I’ve done everything I could. But still I am lost. I see no light. I try to take my life.
I fail. I’m admitted to a hospital. I spend a week there. I am prescribed medication. I take said medication. I move to a new city. I start a new job. Things are going well, until they’re not. I go through everything again. I break down. I think strange thoughts. I’m about to meet my maker. I meet my maker.
But not in Heaven, on earth. He comforts me. He loves me. He nurses me. He teaches me. He guides me. He sends me. He is everything I need. I want to help others. I want to be with others. I want to go on mission with others. I ask my brother. He says yes. I ask my friends. They say yes. We create a collective project. It’s a community.
In God's love,
- TC