A few years back, I took a summer long internship with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes as an administrative assistant for their camp office. It was a crazy summer for me. It was my first summer as an "adult" living in San Diego. The start of my internship came a few short weeks after receiving shoulder surgery due to an unattended high school soccer injury that was aggravated by a minor injury while playing college ball. Also, the girl I had been dating at the time dumped me because I was honestly to clingy too soon. What can I say? I am a lover.
My internship was paid, but it was all support driven, so I was constantly fundraising to make ends meet for the three months of work. In the middle of my internship I went on a funding trip to my hometown and while up there had an abscess removed from my tailbone, that basically made it painful to sit or lie on my back (which were the only comet able positions for me given my recovering shoulder).
A few weeks after that, I went on the road to two camps, at UCLA and UC Davis. I was required to be a counselor in the football camp. For those of you who don't know me, I've never played one snap of football. While traveling from the UCLA camp to the UC Davis camp, I left my wallet at a gas station in Turlock, my wallet luckily only had about two bucks in it. Oh, and my debit, credit, and social security card. It's safe to say I had a pretty gnarly couple of months.
However, despite my crazy summer I also found joy every morning. I didn't frown or fret over my circumstance. I had a weird trust that everything was gonna be ok. Nothing could phase me. God used this time to draw me and truly cling to him. I tell people that summer was the summer I truly dedicated my life to Christ and became a Christian.
I tell you this story because over the past few months, things have honestly been rough. I haven't been the same excited and fun loving person I am known and pride myself on being. On my drive home tonight, I thought to myself, "Why can't I be joyful like I was during my FCA summer?" Instead of feeling like I can't be touched, I am constantly worrying and complaining about my circumstance. Maybe God is simply trying to gather my attention again, or maybe I am just being a cry baby.
Either way I am committing to change my disposition. I am tired of being tired and temperamental. I can't change my circumstance, but I can change my defeated attitude to an attitude of gratitude.
- Chandler