I hate the holidays; there I said it. Now that I have that off my chest, let me continue offending you. Turkey and mashed potatoes are overrated. Why not have something awesome like steak and non-mashed potatoes? Black Friday and shopping for the prefect present, overrated. Why not just give the person cold hard cash, because to be honest that is what they want? New Years' Eve parties and resolutions, you guessed it, overrated. Why do you need an excuse to get drunk and make bad decisions only to try and make good decisions the day after?

Don't get me wrong I like what the holidays truly stand for and signify. I think it is amazing that once a year families get together and share thanks for things that have passed and for things to come. I love that people celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by giving gifts and putting others above themselves. And it gives me hope that people try and better themselves despite all the hardships they faced the year previously.

But as most people know, I am realist, which my mom would say is a pessimist. And for me, expectations do not match up to reality when it comes to the holidays. When I was younger I was optimistic about this time of year, but as I have gotten older things have changed. My heart has grown harder and my hands idle. Now I stay away from family get togethers and pick up extra shifts at work so I do not have free time. My goal is to avoid any personal in-depth conversation dealing with religion, relationships, or my vocation.

I am now 25 years old and the last two years have been extremely hard for me. I have lost families members, experienced broken relationships, and seen no growth in my career. Luckily I have great friends and family as well as a group of medical professionals that have taught me so much. So I thought why not change my perspective this year and instead of finding ways to enjoy the holidays more; I'm just going to try and hate them less.

It's a concept I picked up in behavioral therapy. My doctor encouraged me to focus on being less sad, rather than being more happy. She knew that it would take time for me to get back to "normal" and wanted me to set an obtainable goal. It really helped and now I try to incorporate it into all parts of my life. With all that said I came up with 5 basic ways to encourage myself to make the best of the holidays. I hope it also helps you, and if not, I mean what did you expect? The title of this article is 5 ways to make the holidays suck less.

1. Commit: I know this sounds like the opposite of something I would recommend, but if you don't commit to something or someone specific then you will over commit to things and people that are not a priority. We have to be intentional with our time especially during the holidays.

2. Listen: It is very easy to check out when talking with people like your great aunt Pam but by spending just 5 minutes of your time you give them the priceless gift of compassion. If you only commit to people you care about you won't mind sitting with them and hearing all about their life.

3. Eat: We all have that one friend who encourages us to stay healthy and maintain our weight while eating Thanksgiving dinner or attending work Christmas parties, but you don't need that kind of negativity in your life! It's the holidays! Eat sweets and indulge.

4. Ask: The holidays can be tough for some people. For whatever reason symptoms of depression and anxiety are heightened and more severe. I in no way want to over simplify things but if you need help, ask. Friends and family are a great option, but if not there is always the suicidal prevention hotline.

5. Rest: There is a difference between working from home and doing absolutely nothing; I encourage the latter. It's smart to unplug from all social media so you do not compare yourself to others. We all need a break every once in awhile, so relax and take a breathe.

These tips and tricks are in no way revolutionary, but even if one step helps I feel it was worth the 15 minutes it took for me to come up with the acronym CLEAR which is a lot better than what it originally was LAREC. Deep down I believe this season can be an amazing time but unless we "clear" all distractions we will most likely get bogged down and turn into ole Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge. See what I did there, I used the acronym in my closing sentence, pretty sweet right.

In God's love,

- TC